Fort Bragg to open Army's first on-post strip club

FORT BRAGG, N.C. — After months of complaints from spouses regarding employment opportunities and low morale at the Garrison town hall meetings, senior leaders from across the installation

New call of duty terms of service actually army enlistment contract

WASHINGTON — Excitement over a recently released update to the wildly popular Call of Duty video game franchise turned to confusion and worry this week as thousands of gamers

Divorced general thinks bases should be named after officers who understand loyalty

ARLINGTON, Va. — The Association of Divorced General Officers issued a statement Saturday supporting the renaming of bases in light of recent racial tensions throughout the United States. Citing

Army shuts down specialists’ barracks autonomous zone

Reflections of a retired Army combat uniform that never saw combat

Is this all there is? Oh my ... I think this is all there is. I was born to be a warrior. My maker designed me in the ashes

Army career manager ‘emotionally exhausted’ from screwing so many people

FORT KNOX, Ky. — Your career manager is “emotionally” exhausted from screwing so many people today, sources report. Capt. Melanie Benford, who manages the careers of aviation captains, reportedly

Fort Hood added to list of Fort Hood off-limits establishments

KILLEEN, Texas — Officials in Fort Hood, Texas announced this week they have added the 78-year-old post to the list of III Corps off-limits establishments. With

Ask a 1950s-Era Army doctor

SAN ANTONIO, Texas — As part of our efforts to provide world class services for readers, Duffel Blog offers expert medical advice from Dr. David Bombay. This eminent physician

Army backs down from renaming fort slavery was cool

BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Responding to pressure from the Trump Administration, the Army has agreed to shelve plans to rename Fort Slavery Was Cool, an Army post located just outside

China’s Terracotta Army reaches 100% compliance on mandatory training

WASHINGTON — Pentagon leaders are concerned and totally jealous after China announced that its famed army of 8,000 terracotta sculptures has completed every course of the People’s

Army headquarters commander demands more respect around here

FORT LEE, VA. — After six months in the company commander seat for the headquarters and headquarters company, Capt. Jairo Milan is wondering why he doesn’t get the

Nation shocked to learn Army North nowhere near Canada border

FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — Everyone in the United States was shocked overnight to learn that U.S. Army North is actually nowhere near Canada, according to sources who

Army chief says service doing great, has ‘pretty much no problems’

WASHINGTON – Breaking with his peers and the entire history of the Defense Department, the Chief of Staff of the Army said today that the service is in absolutely,

TikToking Lieutenant excited to meet Army chief of staff ahead of peers

FORT STEWART, Ga. — In the wake of his TikTok video that went viral for an anti-Semitic joke, 2nd Lt. Norton Friedheim has fallen under the spot light

Army-Navy game to be renamed 'Suckers vs. Losers bowl'

WASHINGTON — The Defense Secretary on Tuesday ordered the Army-Navy Game renamed to Suckers vs. Losers Bowl in order to better reflect White House policy changes toward the

Army stunned to learn Fort Hood had commander

FORT HOOD, Texas — Following the announcement that the U.S. Army had removed Maj. Gen. Scott Efflandt from command of Fort Hood, sources report that leading up to

Grand Theft Auto Fort Hood 'a little too realistic'

KILLEEN, Texas — After a week of beta testing, the Army's E-Sports gaming team has reported that the Fort Hood version of the newest installment of

New Army fitness test measures how much pain you can endure over 20 years

THE PENTAGON -- Army leaders announced the introduction of a new physical fitness test that measures resilience and muscular endurance by testing how much pain a soldier can feel

ClauseFic? Army to publish ‘fifty shades of war’ fanfic erotica

FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. – The Army University Press announced plans to publish a fan fiction snuff erotica novel titled, Fifty Shades of War about the famed Prussian general and

Squad leader dies after first sergeant tells soldiers to ‘immolate’ good leaders

FORT CARSON, Colo. – A 4th Infantry Division squad leader burned to death after his first sergeant told soldiers at morning formation that they should immolate good leaders if

Sergeant major says no one is leaving Afghanistan until all the brass is picked up

Not one swinging dick is boarding a plane until this place is spotless

Environmentalists applaud Army move to replace Humvee Fleet

Washington, D.C. - Today in a joint statement at the Pentagon, the U.S. Army and Greenpeace announced a unique partnership which they say is mutually beneficial. The