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Pacific Fleet claims garbage island as US territory

| 1 min read
Pacific Fleet claims garbage island as US territory

Garbage Island is located in a convergence zone of the North Pacific Gyre. We're not sure what these lines mean, but they probably have something to do with Liberty.

THE PACIFIC OCEAN – Steaming through an estimated 700,000 square kilometers of filth, United States Navy warships laid territorial claim today to the Great Pacific Garbage Patch – a big strategic win for the Red, White, and Blue, according to U.S. government officials.

Emphasizing America’s profound cultural ties with garbage and refuse of all kinds, a Navy spokesperson aboard the destroyer USS Milius trumpeted the acquisition as an “emotional homecoming” for the billion-some plastic water bottle caps, knotted trash bags, and used tampon applicators that constitute the Texas-sized mass.

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