WASHINGTON, D.C. — Washington-area police have issued an Amber Alert and are seeking the public's help in locating a missing 238-year old foreign policy for the United States.
The foreign policy was described as wholly consistent with our national security interests, while also balancing the needs for human rights, labor, business and the environment. It answers to the Obama Doctrine, the Bush Doctrine, the Clinton Doctrine, the Powell Doctrine, the Weinberger Doctrine, and the Domino Theory.
When last seen it was speaking softly and carrying a big stick.
Police are looking for a suspect, described by witnesses as a well-dressed middle-aged bald man who spoke with a Russian accent. The man was seen getting into a stretch limousine in downtown Washington with the foreign policy early on Monday.