Marine celebrates historic six month marriage

TWENTYNINE PALMS, CA – The 1st Marine Tank Battalion threw a party to celebrate Lance Corporal Matt Blake’s marriage reaching an unprecedented six months. “This is an inspiring story of

Cases of medically non-redeployable soldiers on the rise

FORT SAM HOUSTON, TX – With the drawdown in Afghanistan approaching, the Army is experiencing an unexpected surge in soldiers being declared medically ineligible for redeployment to garrison, the Army Medical

Predator drone nominated for Nobel peace prize

OSLO, NORWAY — The General Atomics MQ-1 Predator unmanned drone was nominated Monday for the 2013 Nobel Peace Prize for its unrelenting pursuit of peace and tranquility in under-governed

Fort bliss soldier spends three months in front leaning rest for $200 bet

EL PASO, TX – A young infantryman may be a candidate for the latest edition of the Guinness Book of World Records after he spent nearly three months in the front

Rastafari chaplain blazes through high mass

Marines discover actual 'arms cache' in sub-sahara Africa

Haqqani network struggles to use up explosives for fiscal year

PESHAWAR, PAKISTAN — Officials from The Haqqani Network claim that the terror network is struggling to use up its explosives quota amid lingering buget cuts. Known for its sophisticated terrorist operations

Oh Shit, you're already late for that medical appointment you had today

Sources on board your ship have reported in advance of morning quarters that you’ve got medical today. While details are still sketchy, your Leading Petty Officer (LPO) has confirmed

Trauma of war brought back by opening of local Green Beans

CHARLOTTE, NC — The opening of North Carolina's first Green Beans Coffee is to blame for one woman's debilitating anxiety attacks and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder-related

Kim Jong-un’s wife: If I finally give you head, will you stop this?

PYONGYANG, DPRK — As North Korea inches closer to the nuclear brink, one woman has stepped forward with a stunningly selfless offer that might be the world’s last best hope

Defense secretary put on restriction for taking duty van on late night beer run

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel was awarded fifteen days restriction for taking the Pentagon’s duty van on an unauthorized late night beer run, according to officials. “We

Massachusetts guardsman legally changes name to 'boston strong'

WOOSTA, MA — Private First Class John “Sully” Sullivan surprised family and fellow Guardsmen alike yesterday, when he reported that he had legally changed his name to “Boston Strong,” after learning

Soldiers re-invade Germany by mistake, reignite WWII

GRAFENWÖHR, GERMANY – During a training deployment to the Grafenwöhr Training Area, a U.S. Army unit mistakenly invaded Germany, effectively re-igniting World War II, according to a spokesman for

Public affairs officials seek to reduce incidents of combat Photobombing

FORT LEE, VA – The deputy commander of the Army’s Public Affairs Office is seeking assistance from leaders of major Army commands in reducing instances of “photobombing,” which renders combat

'Take your Fobbit to work day' ends in Newfound respect, 27 wounded in action

KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Pentagon sources were proud to announce the success of a new, yearly event which allowed Fobbits — service-members who spend their entire tour on Forward Operating Base — the