HEAVEN — Sources reported today that supreme Judeo-Christian deity God allegedly forgot to capitalize “Marine,” adding that the blunder was His “most egregious oversight since the creation of the mosquito, or maybe the e-cigarette -- who knows -- they’re both a blight on humanity.”
His Imminence had commanded the baking of a birthday cake for the Marines guarding His ethereal gates in order to commemorate their birthday as a Corps, according to celestial spokesangel, Metatron, Voice of God.
“Our Father, King of kings, seems to have had a most uncharacteristic lapse of divine judgement when leaving instructions for our heavenly baker,” Metatron stated.
“Far be it from me to cast the first stone, but I suspect some recent, heart-sundering events to be at fault,” he added. “No doubt the work of Lucifer.”
