RAQQA, Syria — A recent honor graduate of the Islamic State Suicide Bomber School of Excellence has publicly voiced concerns over the sexual experience of the 72 women awaiting him in the afterlife, sources confirmed today.
“I’ve never been with a woman before, so there’d be no sexual skill between all of us virgins,” said Amar Hussein, expressing fears about his planned first time with 72 female virgins. “I’d get to the afterlife and disappoint all of them forever.”
According to sources, Hussein asked his instructors if perhaps the virginity of his eternal harem was negotiable.
