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Five sides, zero accountability
179 on file
179 on file
Updated 1200 Zulu
Page 3
Also filed from PentagonNewest first
17 Sep Pentagon to prioritize EUCOM, INDOPACOM, AFRICOM, CENTCOM, SOUTHCOM, NORTHCOM DoD pledges undivided attention to all six commands at once using math, magic, and PowerPoint 2 min 15 Sep US invades Venezuela after discovering massive stores of 'big booty Latinas' Recruiting offices report record surge in male applicants aged 13 to 97 2 min 12 Sep Newly renamed Secretary of War briefly feels something other than crippling insecurity Secretary of War orders maximum lethality, receives minimum validation 2 min 10 Sep Department of War loses access to $1 trillion DoD budget after name change Check rejected after department fails standard government name verification form 2 min 29 Aug Pentagon finds Hegseth pullups as root cause of failures in Iraq, Afghanistan Audit finds lack of dead hang directly correlated with collapse of two nations 3 min 20 Aug Chimp hanging upside down from lectern named new Pentagon spokesman Banana tariffs, China, and showing his butt top agenda for new flack 3 min 11 Aug Pete Hegseth thrown onto court at WNBA game Police officer removes SECDEF using towel and rubber gloves 2 min 25 Jul DOGE vows to reduce Pentagon to triangle "The DoD is no longer an oversized bureaucracy. Instead, it will be an obtuse bureaucracy with sharp angles.” 2 min 21 Jul Mattis emerges from time machine, horrified to learn Pete Hegseth is SecDef General returns to find ICE in museums, POWs in Ukraine, and the Constitution on vacation. 3 min
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