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‘Eccentric’ Sergeant Major is actually completely insane

| 3 min read

The Sergeant Major tells soldiers to make sure they separate enemy prisoners of war from their broccoli.

SUWON AFB, SOUTH KOREA – A Sergeant Major that many have deemed as "eccentric" or "quirky" has turned out to be completely insane, sources confirmed today.

In the sleepy community of Osan Air Force Base, all is quiet on Friday morning, except a solitary figure of a man standing under the flagpole in his dress blues. A recording of reveille tinnily sounds from the public address system, and Sgt. Maj. Edward Rush snaps to attention to salute as the colors continue to wave languidly in the gentle breeze. In a position as the senior enlisted adviser to the battalion commander of the 6-52 Air Defense Artillery Regiment, the 49-year old Rush is a common sight to all American airmen and soldiers stationed around the city of Suwon.

Soldiers taking time off from training are never safe from his trademark riding crop, which the senior NCO relishes in bringing down on the shoulders of personnel too slow to get to parade rest. In between bouts of incomprehensibly hoarse yelling and ordering soldiers to cut the grass in front of his government housing with scissors, Sgt. Maj. Rush always finds time to impress upon them the importance of the mission at hand.

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