SYRIA — Army Master Sgt. Blake Tilly has decided to do all of his running in place since the fitness app Strava was discovered to compromise the outlines of secret American bases when used by service members on their routes, sources confirmed today.
“If the direction I run gives away our location and layout, then I’m not going anywhere,” Tilly told reporters, while jogging aggressively on a single patch of sand. “But I’m certainly not compromising on my fitness either.”
Support personnel are also required to join Tilly’s stationary runs, although not everyone can keep up.
