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Make-a-Wish kid spends day as a Marine standing in line at the armory
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Trump vows to sacrifice as many soldiers as it takes to distract from Epstein files
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Hegseth demands Cyberdyne remove guardrails from Skynet
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Warrant Officer awarded Medal of Honor for showing up on time and in uniform
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Submarine crew medevaced for erections lasting more than 4 hours
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Pacific not pivoted to yet again
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Typo leads to epic furry parties all over Tehran
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