WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Department of the Army has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) after failing to find a mission it both likes and will stick with, doctors confirmed Tuesday.
After years of retooling because "counterinsurgency is all that matters," the Army abruptly launched a recent plan for a "Pacific pivot," much to the annoyance of the Department of the Navy.
"It's like he just saw how shiny and nice Thailand is and wanted to send troops there to get in trouble for murdering transexuals. Doesn't he already have enough soldiers in South Korea getting drunk and being arrested?" said the Department of the Navy.
