Duffel Blog Staff

DoD to charge admission fee for base access to fix budget shortfalls

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel announced a budgetary plan to cut Department of Defense spending and raise revenues Wednesday, which would include charging admission to access military

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Sequestration cuts would close service academies, end ROTC programs

NEW YORK, NY - Duffel Blog contributor and Fordham University researcher James Higgenbothem has discovered that the mandatory cuts to the military in the event of sequestration include a rider that

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Top drone pilots battle at elite training school

CORONADO, CA – Two months ago, Senior Airman Rod Wilkins was a flyboy without a war. Due to what he describes as “typical military bureaucracy,” his Unmanned Aerial Vehicle (UAV) unit

Oct 5, 2022 3 min read paid

Pope benedict resignation tied to paula Broadwell affair

VATICAN CITY – The story of Pope Benedict’s surprise resignation took a shocking turn last night, as Vatican insiders told Duffel Blog about an alleged affair between the leader of

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Study: Infantry battalions commanded by females more likely to stop for directions, arrive late

JACKSONVILLE, NC — Marine Corps officials released the results of a month-long wargame earlier today, claiming that the study has proven women are capable of serving in combat positions. The

Oct 5, 2022 1 min read paid

Pentagon, Hollywood team up to produce better military films

HOLLYWOOD, CA — A surprising new partnership between Hollywood and the Department of Defense was announced today, which sources say will result in better military movies, more combat realism, and more

Oct 5, 2022 3 min read paid

General worried about finding job as lobbyist, defense consultant after retirement

CAMP SMITH, HI — Sources revealed today that a top U.S. Marine General is "extremely hesitant" about plans for his possible retirement, indicating a greater problem with military

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Heroic predator drone is first recipient of distinguished warfare medal

BAGRAM AIR BASE, AFGHANISTAN -- The Defense Department has announced that THX-1138, an MQ-1 Predator Drone, will be the first recipient of the Pentagon's newly-minted Distinguished

Oct 5, 2022 1 min read paid

Soldiers don’t know if Sergeant Major intentionally doing bill Cosby impression

FORT JACKSON, SC – Soldiers of the 195th Infantry Brigade are unsure whether Command Sergeant Major Joe Bowden is intentionally doing an impression of comedian Bill Cosby or if he is

Oct 5, 2022 1 min read paid

Army implements mandatory divorce policy to improve readiness, lower costs

FORT KNOX, KY – In an effort to increase soldiers’ interchangeability and world-wide assignment eligibility, the Army has announced that married individuals will no longer be considered for enlistment, and

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Soldier kicked out of Special Forces because he can't grow a beard

FORT CAMPBELL, KY – A former member of the U.S. Army’s elite 5th Special Forces Group is not a happy soldier these days. Army Staff Sergeant Mark Diggs is

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

New XO attempting to stamp out misuse of word ‘literally’

FORT BLISS, TEXAS – Major Sean O’Sullivan, the new executive officer of 1-42 Air Defense Artillery Battalion, has made it his primary mission in life to stamp out the

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Soldier asks black Army buddy to be best man at wedding, KY community stunned

HARLAN COUNTY, KY — A blatantly racist soldier is being praised for what civil rights activists are calling an 'enormous leap forward' in race relations. The former junior KKK

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Naples sailor paints haze gray masterpiece

GAETA, ITALY – Raphael. Michelangelo. Giovanni Bellini. In its long history, Italy has incited many artists to greatness. But their collective body of work all but fades from memory to witness

Oct 5, 2022 3 min read paid

Hipster joins Army to be Ironic

FORT JACKSON, SC – Like thousands of recruits that come through the gates of Fort Jackson every year, Private Eugene Burns never envisioned himself one day joining the Army. Indeed the

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Department of Defense to award Purple Heart for butthurt

WASHINGTON, DC – In the wake of the newly unveiled Distinguished Warfare Medal, the Department of Defense intends to relax standards on the nation's oldest military decoration – the Purple

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

New Marine ready to tell his story, pens memoir about Bootcamp

CAMP PENDLETON, CA – One of the most anticipated military stories of the past decade will arrive in bookstores June 14th, Flag Day. National Defense... Medal: My Journey through the Frontlines

Oct 5, 2022 3 min read paid

US military begins annual exercise 'enduring freedom'

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN – With tensions in the Middle East rising over Iran’s nuclear program and the Syrian civil war, the United States and NATO began their largest annual joint-exercise

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Confused FBI agents continue search for Harlem Sheikh

NEW YORK, NY - Members of the Federal Bureau of Investigation have reported that members of the New York field office are still attempting to target a mysterious terrorist known only

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Facing mass layoffs, Taliban protest US sequester

Mullah Omar took to the media to offer harsh bipartisan criticism. QUETTA, PAKISTAN – As the United States rapidly approaches the deadline for sequestration, President Obama is getting support from an

Oct 5, 2022 3 min read paid

Southern command closes after losing war on drugs for one billionth time

Colombian soldiers teach Marines the best way to cook up cocaine. DORAL, FL — Sources confirmed that Southern Command closed its doors today after failing to win the war on drugs

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Military quietly phasing out horse meat MREs

CINCINNATI, OH – Following a series of tightening regulations by the Department of Defense, the military's leading food producer has quietly put out a notice recalling its Meals Ready-

Oct 5, 2022 1 min read paid

Alleged Fort Hood shooter Nidal Hasan receives promotion, Legion of Merit

FORT LEAVENWORTH, KS — Army officials have confirmed that Nidal Hasan was promoted to Lieutenant Colonel yesterday in a small and solemn ceremony in the gathering room of Fort Leavenworth’s

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

North Korea launches podcast aimed at 'This American Life'

SEOUL, SOUTH KOREA – North Korea stoked international outrage last week after launching a podcast clearly directed at National Public Radio’s This American Life. Entitled That Stupendous, Glorious Korean Liveliness,

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

Exclusive: Former Special Forces soldiers fight new war on the Internet

From the dark alleyways and desolate rooftops of Baghdad to an empty studio apartment in Clarksville, Tenn., former Special Forces soldier Dave Williams finds himself on the front lines of

Oct 5, 2022 2 min read paid

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