WASHINGTON — Nearly all members of the Coast Guard will take the month of April off in a new involuntary awareness campaign dubbed "Month without a Coastie," sources confirmed today.
As part of the campaign — which was unintentionally started by the Trump administration's proposed cutting of $1 billion from the service's budget — Coast guardsmen will refrain from saving lives and cut back on counter drug operations and illegal migrant interdiction.
The Guard will, however, use the remainder of its budget to bitch that it can't afford to do anything, while noting that it would really like another "GODDAMN ICEBREAKER LIKE IT'S BEEN PRACTICALLY BEGGING CONGRESS TO APPROVE FOR THE LAST 30 YEARS," a source added.
“A Month Without A Coastie" is similar to a trend of bringing attention to undervalued demographics (Immigrants, Women, etc). Though the Coast Guard really has no choice but to not perform its job, top leaders figured they might as well make a thing out of it.
