UNDERGROUND BUNKER, SOMEWHERE IN IDAHO — After the stunning conclusion of the presidential election on Tuesday, doomsday prepper Eric Hicks has a surplus of ammunition and no apocalypse to shoot at, sources confirmed.
On Wednesday, Hicks disappointingly awoke to an America not being overrun with transgender communists, goose-stepping femnazis, or invading UN troops dressed in pantsuits. From a coffee table constructed of 7.62x51 NATO ammo crates, Hicks openly pondered what he was supposed to do now.
