WASHINGTON, D.C. – Chief of Staff of the Army Gen. Raymond Odierno made waves yet again this week, declaring that a mere combination of whimsical alliteration and weekly Mexican dining at bargain prices is all that stands between the United States and certain anarchy.
“Taco Tuesday is the only thing holding this damn country together,” Odierno announced loudly at a press conference, clearly out of fucks to give.
Odierno, the most senior officer in the Department of the Army, previously sparked controversy last month during an exit interview when he stated the U.S. could have prevented the rise of the Islamic State.
“Do you all want the cold, hard truth?” Odierno rhetorically asked. “Mexicans – yes, the same Mexicans so many of you all want to get rid of – are this God-forsaken country’s saving grace.”
