DoD-wide audit calls bullshit on every Legion of Merit ever awarded
ARLINGTON, Va. – The Pentagon has released the results of an internal investigation into the Department of Defense’s awards process. Most noteworthy, the report found that every single Legion of Merit ever awarded has been complete and total bullshit.
Capt. Roger Forsythe, a spokesman for the Pentagon's Headquarters and Headquarters Comapany, told reporters, "We really thought at least a few of them would turn out to be deserved."
The Legion of Merit is traditionally given to pencil-necked POGs who haven’t left their offices or spoken to any junior enlisted swine for at least five years. It appears in the order of precedence above the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Purple Heart, and is behind only the Defense Superior Service Medal in terms of meaninglessness.
Those involved with the investigation were quick to point out how inflated the award has become.
“I personally went through thousands of these things,” an anonymous Pentagon staffer said, “and every single summary of…
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