WASHINGTON — In the face of a perceived spike of attacks on female joggers in recent weeks, the Pentagon has affirmed its commitment to women’s safety by prohibiting female service-members from jogging, sources confirmed today.
“We are committed to the safety of all of our service members, but especially those that may make themselves targets for sexual assaults,” said Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. David Petrides. “We want to ensure that these service members are not attracting unwanted attention via their choice of clothing, perspiration, or movements that could be characterized by depraved maniacs as ‘sexual’ in nature.”
Petrides also acknowledged the difficulty of the ban, telling reporters that other initiatives are being considered by senior leaders to help women exercise less provocatively in safer environments.
“Nothing is off the table when it comes to the health and welfare of our female service members," said Petrides. “From a buddy system, pairing women with big, strong men to protect them from would-be attackers, to instituting vibrating-belt machine PT, we want to make sure we send a strong message that violence against women will not be tolerated."