CAPE CANAVERAL — Saturday marked America’s return to human spaceflight, as a Falcon 9 rocket ferried NASA astronauts to the new SpaceX crew dragon capsule into orbit. Relieved to finally be free of the bloated Air Force bureaucracy, the new US Space Force got to work to do its part in American’s new human space program—programming the rocket to draw a massive penis in space.
“Because the Falcon 9 has so much delta-v, we decided to do something different,” noted a Space Force engineer totally preparing the rocket for launch. “The Navy and Air Force think they can draw but we have another thing coming, if you know what I mean.”
SpaceX maintains a fleet of dozens of rockets split among three launch pads. Their workhorse, the Falcon 9, has two core stages, one of which returns to sea for a landing and one that burns out above the atmosphere in Space.
