This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
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US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general
The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.
Jun 2, 2025 · 3 min read
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168 stories in this section
Hegseth thinking that DEI Coordinator job at National Guard bureau looks pretty sweet right now
The embattled Pentagon chief, long viewed as a DUI hire, is looking for the exits.
May 7, 2025 · 3 min read
Hegseth congratulates historic last ever female to complete best Ranger competition
"I’ve personally fired every female commander I can find, and now one has completed Best Ranger?”
Apr 28, 2025 · 4 min read
Leaked: Hegseth’s plan to 'de-gay' the military
Duffel Blog obtained the confidential memo.
Apr 25, 2025 · 3 min read
Trade wars service medal delayed by China tariffs
"The supplier increased the cost by 145%."
Apr 23, 2025 · 2 min read
Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
Apr 16, 2025 · 4 min read
Pentagon releases list of approved racial and sexual epithets
Names and “zingers” questioning another service member’s sexual orientation are allowed immediately.
Apr 11, 2025 · 3 min read
DoD establishes strategic porn reserve after Canada threatens to disable PornHub
Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.
Apr 9, 2025 · 3 min read
Pentagon renames Fort Campbell after the soup
"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”
Apr 7, 2025 · 3 min read
Citing DEI, Pentagon ends special treatment of black mold in barracks
Black mold is now able to serve openly in the barracks with no special treatment and will be judged fairly against other barracks residents.
Apr 4, 2025 · 3 min read
Hegseth punishes himself with extra set of 47 pushups for leaking war plans
"Accountability has been my watchword from day one, and my little boo-boo is no exception,” he said.
Apr 2, 2025 · 3 min read
👊🇺🇸🔥
Intel update briefing prepared by National Security Advisor Mike Waltz
Apr 1, 2025 · 1 min read
The Trump administration also accidentally texted us its war plans
Strike plans—whatever you want to call them—it's classified okay?
Mar 31, 2025 · 4 min read
Man known for poor judgment displays poor judgment
“I was shocked when I heard Pete was the source of the Pentagon leaks,” said Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.
Mar 29, 2025 · 3 min read
Jeff and tina: Hey, uh, what in the fuck?
All we asked for was 80% compliance.
Mar 28, 2025 · 2 min read
Hegseth says he meant to send dick pic, not war plans
“It reminds me of this one time when I was in this chick’s OODA Loop and accidentally gave her Plan Bravo instead of Plan B the next morning."
Mar 26, 2025 · 2 min read
TRANSCOM renamed PENISORVAGINACOM to comply with presidential directives
"It's super awkward to put on my LinkedIn profile," said Gen. Randall Reed, the commander.
Mar 19, 2025 · 3 min read
Pentagon offers black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers
"“All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military," a spokesman said.
Mar 17, 2025 · 3 min read
Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles
The markings will distinguish U.S. forces from “freedom-hating and war-mongering Ukrainians,” according to Hegseth.
Mar 14, 2025 · 3 min read
Pentagon establishes task force of task forces to address need for task forces
“So, naturally, we formed a task force to determine whether we had too many task forces."
Mar 10, 2025 · 2 min read
Hegseth’s top tips on using the warrior ethos to abandon allies and warfighters
Here are Hegseth’s best “easy outs” for serving allies and partners a big cold dish of reality.
Mar 5, 2025 · 3 min read
Leidos wins $10 billion contract to write 5 bullets on what fed employees did last week
The company has been "an industry-leading innovator in bullet point technology for over five decades."
Mar 3, 2025 · 3 min read
Suspicious OPM email ignored by entire government thanks to cyber awareness training
“Thank you, Jeff! Thank you, Tina! Your service is not forgotten."
Feb 24, 2025 · 3 min read
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