DoD: Mass shootings negatively impact recruiting quotas

“Honestly, that is the biggest tragedy,” said Navy recruiter and Tiktok dance sensation Petty Officer 2nd Class Drea Avila soberly.

Spray tan and Diet Coke being tested for bullet proof qualities, Pentagon says

The former president may be onto something.

US condemned over airdrop of omelette MREs to Gaza

"We cannot stand idly by while the basic rights and tastes of Palestinians are trampled upon," said one resident.

SECDEF crushes 9/11 mastermind's skull with his bare hands

“KSM’s lawyers can try to appeal, of course, but it remains to be seen whether that is successful."

Department of defense stands down after Microsoft office subscription expires

Strangely, the Marine Corps has remained most resilient to this loss of electronic military communication.

Pentagon announces plan to eliminate joy

"Destroying happiness within our military is a good financial decision."

DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table

“Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought it would be a good idea to split 10s,” the Secretary remarked sternly.

Pentagon launches 'see something stupid, say something stupid' campaign

Finally an internal reporting program that might work.

Bill to strengthen HIPAA would strip PII from military graves, memorials

You can't steal what you can't see

Americans wondering if we can just get WW3 over with already

Stop talkin' and start doin'

Department of defense: 'We're not smart enough to run a Taylor Swift PSYOP'

Let's be real here.

Secretary Austin awarded new “sick call Ranger” tab

Spec 4: "No phase recycles, my man just went straight through."

‘Declaration of military accountability’ written entirely in Comic Sans

“We needed a font that would be taken as seriously as we are.”

US vows evacuation of citizens from Gaza will be as flawless as Afghan evacuation

Sometimes the sequel is even better than the original.

DoD asks Israel, Hamas to move Intifada to pacific

Austin: "Look, we've put a lot of time and money into this."

DoD introduces Devil's Advocate General Corps

"I'm just asking questions!"

Pentagon cancels car wash fundraiser after debt ceiling standoff averted

Soapies to remain a deployed thing

I conscientiously object to learning Microsoft Teams

Itching to do more for Ukraine, US invades Iraq

“It’s the last thing Russia would expect."

Milley accidentally types ‘hot goth girls’ into teams chat with Joint Chiefs

First PLT, Company C, 1/502 supportive: "Oh, hell yeah."

Point/counterpoint: Future wars will be fought with AI robots vs. 'Microsoft word is not responding'

The following is a point/counterpoint discussion about the use of artificial intelligence (AI), machine learning, and robots in future large scale ground combat. The point will be

Pentagon study finds beards directly related to combat effectiveness

TAMPA, Fla. — Forget new gear, weapons, or sophisticated targeting systems. The newest tool coming to combat troops is low-tech: beards. In a report released yesterday, research think-