Department of defense: 'We're not smart enough to run a Taylor Swift PSYOP'
Let's be real here.
3 min read
paid
The Pentagon
Five sides, zero accountability
Secretary Austin awarded new “sick call Ranger” tab
Spec 4: "No phase recycles, my man just went straight through."
4 min read
paid
‘Declaration of military accountability’ written entirely in Comic Sans
“We needed a font that would be taken as seriously as we are.”
2 min read
paid
US vows evacuation of citizens from Gaza will be as flawless as Afghan evacuation
Sometimes the sequel is even better than the original.
2 min read
paid
DoD asks Israel, Hamas to move Intifada to pacific
Austin: "Look, we've put a lot of time and money into this."
2 min read
paid
DoD introduces devil's advocate General Corps
"I'm just asking questions!"
1 min read
paid
Pentagon cancels car wash fundraiser after debt ceiling standoff averted
Soapies to remain a deployed thing
1 min read
paid
I conscientiously object to learning Microsoft Teams
2 min read
paid
Itching to do more for Ukraine, US invades Iraq
“It’s the last thing Russia would expect."
2 min read
paid
Milley accidentally types ‘hot goth girls’ into teams chat with Joint Chiefs
First PLT, Company C, 1/502 supportive: "Oh, hell yeah."
1 min read
paid
Point/counterpoint: Future wars will be fought with AI robots vs. 'Microsoft word is not responding'
The following is a point/counterpoint discussion about the use of artificial intelligence (AI), machine learning, and robots in future large scale ground combat. The point will be presented by
2 min read
paid
Pentagon study finds beards directly related to combat effectiveness
TAMPA, Fla. — Forget new gear, weapons, or sophisticated targeting systems. The newest tool coming to combat troops is low-tech: beards. In a report released yesterday, research think-tank Xegis Solutions noted
1 min read
paid
DoD seeks corporate sponsorship, Copenhagen, Budweiser already on board
WASHINGTON, D.C. - As the Department of Defense budget gets slimmer each day, military and civilian personnel are getting creative with how to cover shortfalls. The Pentagon has already
2 min read
paid
Citing OPSEC fears, DoD bans Tapout clothing for all military personnel
WASHINGTON — Citing concerns over operational security, the Department of Defense has implemented a policy prohibiting all military personnel from wearing Tapout clothing, including t-shirts, hats, and accessories, when out of
2 min read
paid
Pentagon proposes controversial policy assigning ranks to military spouses
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — A new policy is currently being considered by the Department of Defense that would assign rank to spouses of military members. The controversial measure announced yesterday is
2 min read
paid
Pentagon Channel celebrates 100th viewer
FORT MEADE, MD - All three employees of the Pentagon Channel (TPC) attended a lunch yesterday to celebrate a major milestone in the network's history. This week'
2 min read
paid
Typo leads to creation of $179 million gorilla warfare program
CRESCENT CITY, CA — The Department of Defense has confirmed accusations that a $179 million military training program for mountain gorillas was created based on a spelling error in an email
5 min read
paid
Pentagon study confirms: Napalm does stick to kids
WASHINGTON, DC — An extremely controversial Pentagon study on the accuracy of various running and marching cadences has released its preliminary findings today, concluding that napalm does indeed stick to kids.
2 min read
paid
Pentagon scraps 'Lightsaber' weapons program after gross misconduct, numerous injuries
BAGRAM, AFGHANISTAN — A top secret weapons development program has been scrapped after countless allegations of misconduct and numerous injuries were sustained by soldiers and Marines in Afghanistan, Duffel Blog has
1 min read
paid
Crusty old fuck in the Pentagon hopes cold war just got hot
WASHINGTON – According to sources, that sputtering relic from Basement Level 2B in the Pentagon has been completely beside himself this week, ever since the crisis in Ukraine and the subsequent
1 min read
paid
Troops say generals understand need for cuts to aides, personal drivers, and golf courses
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Troops from the Army, Navy, Marine Corps, and Air Force told Congress on Wednesday that general officers were willing to sacrifice portions of their caviar rations, personal
2 min read
paid
Conflict zones worldwide declare cease-fire after nude celebrity photos leak online
THE PENTAGON — Multiple sources confirmed there would be temporary cease-fires at conflict zones around the world in what is being dubbed a "humanitarian" move to allow soldiers and
1 min read
paid
JOINT CHIEFS: Why we don't care that you're resigning
The following is an opinion article written by the members of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. It has come to our attention that another company grade officer has very publicly
4 min read
paid
Pentagon downplays significance of Taliban taking over all of Afghanistan last night
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following the Taliban's complete takeover of Afghanistan late last night, Pentagon Press Secretary Peter Cook noted in an early morning press briefing that the Pentagon
1 min read
paid
Colonel without combat patch decides it's finally safe to leave the Pentagon
THE PENTAGON — Col. Jerry Martin, an infantry officer who has never deployed overseas, has finally decided to rotate out of the Pentagon after 15 years there, according to sources. Friends
1 min read
paid
Loading more stories...
Scroll for more
