This week in American power projection: the map was wrong, the dorms were fine, and the travel card was for official purposes.
Story Roundup
Pentagon casualties, metric improvement, and Fat Leonard’s least dignified phase.
Situation Report
Latest
DoD rushes to add obvious 'woke' things to keep Hegseth busy
“Hey, someone close the door, the weekly interoffice gay pride parade is kind of loud.”
Jan 22, 2025 · 3 min read
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168 stories in this section
Author of DoD AI policy clearly going through breakup with AI girlfriend
Sure, you can feel a little bad for the guy.
Jan 13, 2025 · 3 min read
Hegseth vows to implement new 'don’t ask, don’t tell' drinking policy
If he smells like tequila, ask no questions, and he’ll tell you no lies.
Jan 10, 2025 · 4 min read
Pentagon says it can't obey orders to attack fellow Americans at current funding levels
Senior defense officials have major concerns about obeying such orders without additional funding from Congress.
Dec 18, 2024 · 3 min read
New Department of Gov. Efficiency seeks majors and staff NCOs as military liaisons
The new agency is seeking military-grade efficiency.
Dec 16, 2024 · 3 min read
Hegseth announces new $HARP program to combat military sexual assault
The 2025 Pay Harassers and Assault Reporters Plenty program is coming soon.
Dec 13, 2024 · 3 min read
Senate orders Hegseth to complete professional military education
President-elect Donald Trump’s Secretary of Defense nominee, Pete Hegseth, has hit an unusual roadblock.
Dec 6, 2024 · 3 min read
Biden assures Ukrainians new aid package is for their freedom and totally not f-you to Trump
“Just in time before peace breaks out!” Biden declared. “Maybe.”
Nov 23, 2024 · 2 min read
DoD prepares brief for incoming SECDEF Pete Hegseth on who the fuck Pete Hegseth is
This is "information incoming Secretary Pete Hegseth is going to want to be aware of right away."
Nov 22, 2024 · 5 min read
Duffel Blog's guide to Trump's selection of Pete Hegseth as SECDEF
He was one of many candidates in the running. Here's the full list.
Nov 13, 2024 · 4 min read
Senator Tuberville puts hold on Veterans Day
Tuberville says his stance is not only morally correct but is also a means of solving a military personnel crisis.
Nov 11, 2024 · 3 min read
DoD: Mass shootings negatively impact recruiting quotas
“Honestly, that is the biggest tragedy,” said Navy recruiter and Tiktok dance sensation Petty Officer 2nd Class Drea Avila soberly.
Nov 6, 2024 · 3 min read
Spray tan and Diet Coke being tested for bullet proof qualities, Pentagon says
The former president may be onto something.
Sep 23, 2024 · 4 min read
US condemned over airdrop of omelette MREs to Gaza
"We cannot stand idly by while the basic rights and tastes of Palestinians are trampled upon," said one resident.
Aug 21, 2024 · 3 min read
SECDEF crushes 9/11 mastermind's skull with his bare hands
“KSM’s lawyers can try to appeal, of course, but it remains to be seen whether that is successful."
Aug 10, 2024 · 2 min read
Department of Defense stands down after Microsoft Office subscription expires
Strangely, the Marine Corps has remained most resilient to this loss of electronic military communication.
Jul 31, 2024 · 3 min read
Pentagon announces plan to eliminate joy
"Destroying happiness within our military is a good financial decision."
Jul 20, 2024 · 3 min read
DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table
“Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought it would be a good idea to split 10s,” the Secretary remarked sternly.
Jul 12, 2024 · 3 min read
Pentagon launches 'see something stupid, say something stupid' campaign
Finally an internal reporting program that might work.
Jun 19, 2024 · 2 min read
Bill to strengthen HIPAA would strip PII from military graves, memorials
You can't steal what you can't see
Apr 20, 2024 · 3 min read
Americans wondering if we can just get WW3 over with already
Stop talkin' and start doin'
Apr 15, 2024 · 2 min read
Department of defense: 'We're not smart enough to run a Taylor Swift PSYOP'
Let's be real here.
Feb 2, 2024 · 3 min read
Secretary Austin awarded new “sick call Ranger” tab
Spec 4: "No phase recycles, my man just went straight through."
Jan 8, 2024 · 4 min read
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