WASHINGTON — Legislation introduced by Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) failed to pass on Wednesday that would have effectively ended the war in Afghanistan and the bombing of at least six other countries, after Paul's Senate colleagues voted it down because he's a whiny little girl.

Paul, who hates freedom and America generally, was seeking to put an end to the 2001 Authorization for the Use of Military Force, a law passed after the Sept. 11th attacks that allowed bombing of the terrorists responsible for it, the terrorists who hate the original terrorists, and Pakistani wedding parties.