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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Friday, 16 October 2026

Veterans

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

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Vol. 15 · No. 124 · Deployed worldwide

Friday

16 October 2026

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Army · Page 4

Army’s new 'holistic medics' treat gunshot wounds with crystals, essential oils

Filed · 1533

FORT SAM HOUSTON, Texas — In an effort to match the broad range of medical treatments available to the civilian population, the U.S. Army has introduced a new breed of battlefield medic, the service announced Friday.

The new MOS, Complementary Medicine Specialist (69W), or “holistic medic,” will be trained in a variety of alternative medical treatments, ranging from aromatherapy to interventional prayer, and will be authorized to prescribe medications like megavitamins and homeopathic dilutions.

“There’s great demand for treating warfighter injuries with more natural, holistic remedies,” said Col. Thomas Sorrenson, commander of the new program. “So where a traditional combat medic treats an amputated limb with a tourniquet and hemostatic gauze, our protocol opts for a healing-hands reiki session followed by some cleansing herbs.”

“It’s a more integrative approach,” he said. “After all, what’s really more important: stopping massive blood loss and preventing shock, or curing a devastating disruption of a soldier’s chi?”

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