Cold weather training canceled due to snowstorm

ANCHORAGE, Ak. — Cold weather endurance and survival training were recently canceled for a battalion of the 3d Cavalry Regiment due to a snowstorm that hit the Anchorage area.

“According to Army regulation AR dash … fuck I’m too cold to remember!” said Master Sgt. Floyd Smith, grandson of Korean War veteran Sgt. Roy Smith. “Anyway, we’re required to have…