TAMPA, FL - Area resident Dan Snyder reported today that he has no money to donate to veterans charities, despite the fact that he owns Adam Sandler's Jack and Jill on BluRay.
"Money's a little tight right now," Snyder said, "but I think the important thing is that I'm keeping veterans in my thoughts."
Contrary to his claims that he has no money, last week Snyder spent actual money at Best Buy to purchase a copy of Jack and Jill, which critics have panned as a complete piece of shit.
It turns out Snyder isn't alone. Current estimates have revealed that Americans spent about $11 million on DVD sales of Jack and Jill, which holds a dismal 3% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes. This fact is "quite depressing", according to reviewers, many of which have said they'd rather hit themselves repeatedly in the head with a tack-hammer rather than have to watch it again.
