JOHN F. KENNEDY SPECIAL WARFARE CENTER, NC — The U.S. Army Special Forces and Fortnite developer Epic Games have announced a first-of-its-kind collaboration featuring Green Beret celebrity, former UFC fighter, and current MAGA darling Tim Kennedy.
While some have recently called for Kennedy’s SF tab to be pulled amid multiple stolen valor controversies, officials at the John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School have decided to run with the publicity.
“Special Forces sees Tim Kennedy as the perfect tool to activate the latent sociopaths in Gen Alpha that we’ll need for future wars,” said Bailey Blake, a SWCS spokesman. “I mean, it takes one to know one, right?”
Fortnite players can unlock an exclusive Tim Kennedy skin by completing a side quest that involves lobbing at least 25 grenades at a non-combatant structure during a Battle Royale match. Completing the mission unlocks Kennedy’s “Mythic” Cheytac sniper rifle, which can be used to kill a horde of wounded and retreating Iranian freedom fighters.
“If that sounds too extreme for Fortnite’s largely juvenile fan base, remember that the Tim Kennedy Fortnite challenges are about as real as his actual career exploits," said Blake. "But how else are we going to inspire a whole new generation to participate in another endless war [with Iran]?”
The Battle Pass also includes three exclusive Tim Kennedy Emotes:
- Falsely accusing a teammate of cowardice
- Fragging a room full of civilians
- Bragging about unearned valor awards.
“This summer the DoD parachuted Kennedy into Normandy for no reason and that did jack for recruiting," Blake said. "So now we’re trying the war-criminal-dog-whistle approach in this exciting digital battle space.”