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Opinion: On Veterans Day, I thank hostile nations for my retirement pay

Shout outs are due!

| 3 min read
Opinion: On Veterans Day, I thank hostile nations for my retirement pay

Sure, American veterans get their day, but what about the other side?

AMERICA — As a veteran of military service to this great nation, I get my share of love. I mean, sure I could always use a little more. Maybe a lot more. Is ten percent off really that much at Home Depot? Maybe a once a once-a-month free Chicken Parm is a little more in keeping with all I did to keep the Kandahar DFAC safe from fake IDs there, Olive Garden? But let’s not make this about me, at least not till I’ve had a sixer of Keystone Ice. Let’s talk about the real MVPs.

Do you know who gets left out of the equation when America starts passing around “Thank you for your services” on November 11th? Al Qaeda. The Taliban. ISIS. Imperial Japan. The Nazis. North Korea. Vietnam. Wagner Group. Hezbollah. Iran. Boko Haram and the MILF (all kinds of them, if you know what I mean). And hell, let’s not forget Italy, China, North Korea, the Confederacy, and those wacky Lobsterbacked British Royal Army types.

Those people wrote a check up to and including their lives and, in the process, the soldiers, terrorists, and revolutionaries who vowed to destroy America gave me IRS combat zone exclusions for eleven TDYs to Incirlik Air Base that crossed over the next month. Kudos to my enemies for fattening twenty-two of my paychecks!

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