Air Force can’t figure out why sailor would spend $1,280 on tattoo
WASHINGTON — A visibly annoyed Air Force called a sailor’s decision to pay for a full-sleeve tattoo financially irresponsible, adding with just a hint of disdain that this sort of extravagant spending is to blame for the Defense Department’s slew of budgetary woes, sources confirmed today.
“One thousand, two hundred and eighty dollars for some body art?” scoffed Air Force. “What a waste! Think of all the golf balls you could buy."
“At least two, maybe three,” the fiscally-sensible service surmised. “Certainly no more than three.”
The Air Force's steadfast reputation among the military for doing more with less is rooted in its proud history of battling fraud, waste and abuse.
The sailor in question, Intelligence Specialist 1st Class Michael Parker, recently had the finishing touches added to an intricate sprawl of nautically-themed tattoos covering the entirety of his right arm.
“A poor mistake like that [tattoo] isn’t some simple mulligan,” said Air Force. “Just think, if you saved $1,280 …
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