FORT KNOX, Ky. – Army Human Resources Command (HRC) announced that Russian and Chinese army personnel specialists will review officer records in an “international delight” section of the new Battalion Commander Assessment Program (BCAP).
Begun in January 2020, BCAP is designed to improve battalion command selection through comprehensive officer evaluations with personal interviews, physical fitness assessments, a summer vacation essay, interpretive dance, and consultations with soothsayers, phrenologists, and the division haruspex.
HRC public affairs officer Maj. Dale Saunders described the new addition to the program.
“The U.S. needs to prepare to engage peer or near peer competitors, so a review by potential adversaries provides insight into how officers might perform in future conflicts,” Saunders said. “We can also borrow a lot of concepts from their great military leaders like Sun Tzu and Joseph Stalin.”
China embraced participating in BCAP. To reciprocate, the People’s Liberation Army is offering U.S. officers tours to South China Sea islands to consult on military construction, or to medical research facilities in the Wuhan Province. China will also provide program candidates free ancestry analysis, like the popular “23 and Me,” since China already has DNA records of all Army officers, which they obtained through totally legal means.
Similarly, the Russian Army is offering the “Mike Flynn” exchange program to provide U.S. officers commenting positions on the Russian RT television network or planning roles in the annexation of neighboring regions. Russian experts are also eager to help any U.S. service member vote in local, state, and national elections.
Critics say the international reviews make command selection overly complex. Saunders responded, “Well, yeah. BCAP is tortuously convoluted as well as expensive. It’s perfectly consistent with the new Army talent management program.”
Potential command-selectee Lt. Col. Alicia Herrera also questioned the addition.
“What, we need input from a bunch of autocratic, vodka-soaked Russkies who promote favorites and squash independent thought?” she asked. “Nonsense. In my experience, our bourbon-soaked American senior commanders are already experts in those areas.”
Iran and North Korea, also potential near peer competitors, declined to participate. Both countries called BCAP more complicated than nuclear non-proliferation negotiations.