FORT POLK, La. — The U.S. Army will rename its Joint Readiness Training Center to The Center for LARPing Army Preparation of Excellence, sources confirmed today.

The Center, which serves as the Army's premier combat training center and employs a number of civilian role players to challenge infantry units, was renamed by the school's commander, who enjoys live-action role playing in and out of uniform.

"It’s what we do," said Lt. Col. Winston Boomhower. "No one in the world can LARP like us. No one.”