THE PENTAGON — The Army unveiled a new uniform today, the result of a newly-announced partnership with the National Football League to promote Breast Cancer Awareness Month. The pink camouflage uniform, dubbed Pink Camouflage Pattern (PCP), will be made available to all soldiers within the next week.

"We've previously partnered with the NFL in promoting research for traumatic brain injury, and are pleased to again partner with them for another noble cause," said Sgt. Maj. of the Army Daniel A. Dailey.

It's not yet clear what role the pink camouflage uniforms will play in Army combat operations. The uniforms have been undergoing field testing with a Special Forces unit on a mission in Nigeria training troops to combat Boko Haram. Even though the unit's role is limited to training and support and not direct combat, the unit has suffered 70% casualties in the first two weeks of wearing the uniform.

"It's too early to conclude if this will be the most effective combat uniform for the Army," said Dailey, "but I'm sure it won't be any worse than the Universal Camouflage Pattern."

While some have criticized the NFL for promoting breast cancer awareness as a cynical public relations stunt aimed at increasing female viewership, senior leaders are quick to dismiss such criticism.

"I don't believe the NFL is doing this to increase ratings by attracting female viewers to their testosterone-laden gladiator sport, or to counter negative publicity from their rash of players using women as punching bags. I believe they genuinely care about women's health issues," said new Army Chief of Staff Gen. Mark Milley.

"As does the Army. We definitely aren't doing this as part of a public relations campaign aimed at increasing female recruitment to a professional culture of violence that has been accused of having unequal opportunities for women and sexually assaulting women at an alarming rate. Our only aim is combatting the scourge of breast cancer."

The NFL has also been the subject of criticism because very little of the proceeds from its pink ribbon campaign actually supports breast cancer research.

"The Army will contribute fifteen cents from every uniform sold to breast cancer research," said Dailey. "It's the least we can do. Literally."