I am watching all of you suddenly embrace the latest trend, which is a full-face mask which conceals your chin, mouth and nose. I just want all of you who are now adopting this style to know: You are fucking poseurs and you need to acknowledge that you’re just copying me.

This is just like when I dyed my hair white in high school, and then Eminem saw my MySpace and copied me, and then his legions of fans did. Just like I was listening to Sublime way before they were cool. (Did you know Gwen Stefani used to be a backup singer for them? Of course you didn’t, because you’re a fucking poseur.) Just like I liked The Boondock Saints before it became a cult classic.

As public record will show, I have been wearing either partial or complete head cover since at least 1982. The only thing I know harder and with more certainty is my hatred for those awful GI Joes. A cursory Google search will confirm that I have always worn a mask, and was the creator of this style.

Several Mortal Kombat characters copied the style in the nineties and early aughts, and while we must give credit to those innovators (albeit the entire conceit was stolen from Street Fighter), we should also acknowledge that they were copying me, and not ninjas. Because ninjas are not real and never existed.