CAMP LEJEUNE — The Marine Corps' first female tank officer will also be assigned full-time duties as 2nd Tank Battalion's Equal Opportunity Advisor (EO), Uniformed Victim Advocate (UVA), and Sexual Assault and Prevention Response Coordinator (SAPR), sources confirmed today.

2nd Lt. Polatchek is purported to be "thrilled" at the historic prospect of attending classroom-based training to learn more about Defense Department policies on equal rights, sexual harassment, and sexual assault. As her unit's EO, UVA and SAPR, Polatchek can expect to spend long hours responding to complaints, filing training rosters in three ring binders, and slowly wasting away her zeal to do any training deemed mandatory.

When asked whether her gender played any part in her full time assignment to these three collateral duties, Lt Col. Lace Langfeldt, 2nd Tank Battalion's Commander, said only that "Lt. Polatchek is the right person for these particular missions for our organization."

As a top graduate of the latest Armor Officer Leader's Course at Fort Benning, Ga., Polatchek spent more than 19 weeks honing her skills in tank gunnery and maneuver for the M1A2 Abrams tank. After her graduation, she told reporters that "it is every new armor officer's hope to do something completely unrelated to their MOS, and forego any opportunity to lead a platoon or do their job."

Sources added that other classmates now assigned to 2nd Tank Battalion will take on other duties. One, for example, is expected to fill a gapped billet in the S-4, as well as complete a week-long Range Safety Officer course so he can spend every week administering safety briefs and slow waste away all his enthusiasm for shooting.