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Marine task force to offer free breast exams to female service members

PENTAGON – A new Marine Corps task force has arisen in the wake of recent Tricare cuts that deny coverage of critical medical care to female service members.

Task Force TITTI, or The Tactical Investigation of T-shirt Toys and Implants, was staffed in record time when the cuts were announced, according to Vice Adm. C. Forrest Faison III, chief of the Navy’s Bureau of Medicine and Surgery.

“Those heartless bastards at Tricare said they wouldn’t cover things like 3D mammograms for the ladies, and with budget cuts, there was nothing we could do, so the Marines really took matters in hand,” said Faison.

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