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Midrats not f--king around tonight

PACIFIC OCEAN — As the off-going 12 to 4 watch passed through the galley on board the USS Bulkeley (DDG-84) and the 4 to 8 watch just came on duty, sources confirmed the mid-rats were indeed, on f--king point this time.

“Mozzarella sticks, corn dogs, and chicken fingers perfectly crispy, it’s like a dream come true,” witnesses said, adding that there were, oh my God, all the condiments filled, as well as more than enough napkins and clean utensils.

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