Military doctors prepare to treat coronavirus just as ineptly as other ailments
TRIPLER ARMY MEDICAL CENTER, Hawaii — With cases of the heavily hyped coronavirus rising, military medical practitioners are preparing to combat the illness with the same expert care they applied to fighting malaria with mefloquine.
According to Maj. Gordon Estrada of Tripler Army Medical Center, “Preventing the spread of coronavirus requires a coordinated response from all of Hawaii’s DOD medical community including medics, physicians, voodoo witch doctors, and sorcerers.”
“We have a joint program with all of the DOD's world-class medicine men,” said Estrada.
Estrada said that since the virus is basically a respiratory ailment, treating it is well within military capabilities.
“Army docs have dealt with respiratory problems since Valley Forge," he said. "We usually prescribe some bloodletting with leeches or maybe some tincture of laudanum. It’s important not to overreact.”
Unit medics are the system’s first line of defense. Estrada says Hawaii medics are stock-piling Motrin and candy bra…
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