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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0512 Zulu

Next edition Monday

← Front page
· Page 2

Military doctors prepare to treat coronavirus just as ineptly as other ailments

Filed · 1551

TRIPLER ARMY MEDICAL CENTER, Hawaii — With cases of the heavily hyped coronavirus rising, military medical practitioners are preparing to combat the illness with the same expert care they applied to fighting malaria with mefloquine.

According to Maj. Gordon Estrada of Tripler Army Medical Center, “Preventing the spread of coronavirus requires a coordinated response from all of Hawaii’s DOD medical community including medics, physicians, voodoo witch doctors, and sorcerers.”

“We have a joint program with all of the DOD's world-class medicine men,” said Estrada.

Estrada said that since the virus is basically a respiratory ailment, treating it is well within military capabilities.

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