Navy announces newest occupational specialty: ‘meat gazer’
WASHINGTON — The Navy announced today the creation of a new career track to help with its large urinalysis test backlog: meat gazer.
The new Navy occupational specialty will require sailors to keep an eye on the wieners of service members as they urinate into collection cups during drug tests.
"Meat gazing was historically a low-level collateral duty for go getters who volunteered to impress commanders, weirdos who enjoy checking out other dudes’ packages, or simple run-of-the-mill perverts. Now, it's a full-time job," said Secretary of the Navy Richard Spencer.
The meat gazer rating is the result of a petition that went viral and gained the attention of Navy leaders.
The Marines started the petition.org effort as a joke, but it quickly garnered service-wide exposure. Roughly 245,000 sailors signed the petition within days, which equates to nearly three-quarters of the Navy begging and yearning to stare at rods for a living.
“In addition to the petition, we also noted that a large number o…
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