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Strategist’s drinking policy fails to prevent, shape st. Patty's day hangover

PENTAGON – Army Maj. Nate Walsh, a graduate of the Army’s prestigious Basic Strategist Arts Program, prevented to shape or prevent his own hangover on Saturday morning, sources confirmed.

Walsh, a loud advocate of the FA59 program at Kelly’s Irish Times late last night, used his training to carefully assess the ends, ways, and means of his St. Patrick's Day activities towards the end state of a long Saturday morning run.

As of noon, however, said run has not occurred.

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