WASHINGTON — Although there have been questions over whether an upcoming summit between the top leaders of the United States and North Korea would take place, officials from both countries say their meeting in Singapore will go forward as long as McDonald's brings back the McRib sandwich, sources confirmed today.

"The McRib essentially represents the flavors of both nations — a beacon of hope," said Army Maj. Trevor Senseman, a 'Korea expert' who hid on the peninsula for several years hooking up with Korean girls and trying to avoid a deployment to Afghanistan.

"It's the perfect symbol of harmony when you think about it. Grilled ribs, or galbi, is a favorite Korean dish, and nothing is more American than barbecue sauce."