WASHINGTON — President Trump has signed an executive order that would put Chik-fil-A restaurants on all U.S. military bases, sources confirmed today.
The order, which comes on the heels of a recent petition for Chik-fil-A to bring its restaurants to military bases, states that the franchise would "bring real American service and chicken to those who really serve America and aren't chickens."
"Real Americans eat real American food, and real Americans who serve deserve real American service," Trump said after signing the order in the Oval Office, where he was surrounded by service-members, poultry lobbyists, and a Holstein cow holding a sign that said, "eat more chikin."
The move has garnered widespread support from troops, although it was sharply criticized by LGBTQ groups and others who refuse to put politics aside and enjoy the best goddamn chicken sandwich ever made.
"Chik-fil-A represents a creepy invasion of our democracy that must be stopped," said Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-N.Y.). "Any establishment that closes its doors in recognition of their religion is anathema to American values," he added during an interview Saturday outside a shuttered New York deli, noting the restaurant chain's practice of closing on Sundays.
"Furthermore, I will ensure our brave troops at stations like West Point and Fort Drum are not subject to the oppressive hate crimes of a reasonably priced fast-food restaurant that serves delicious quality food the whole family can enjoy."
Still, the restaurant hailed Trump's decision, which would give it access to bases in the continental U.S. and abroad. A spokesman said Chik-fil-A planned to open its restaurants first at major Air Force, Navy, and Army bases, while adding that if there was any left over, it might open a hand-me-down restaurant at one or two of the major Marine Corps bases.
"Just definitely not at 29 Palms," the spokesman said.