Unit with spartan mascot hesitant to wear face masks

FORT BRAGG, N.C. – The Sgt. Maj. of 2-354th “Spartan” Battalion announced today during an ill-advised formation that wearing face masks in uniform did not represent the traditions and heritage of the Army.

“I’ve seen the DoD directive about wearing face masks today, and I’ve seen a few masks around post. It looks unprofessional.” Sgt. Maj. Keith Edwards told the formation. “We have traditions to uphold. What did the ancient Spartans do? Would American soldiers have worn face masks in World War I? We can’t give up our traditions because of some fake news.”

Although the Sgt. Maj. of the Army has announced that face masks are allowed in uniform and encouraged as a protective measure against COVID-19, at this point Edwards has passed down to his NCOs that face masks are not “the Spartan way.”

First Sgt. Darrell Ford agreed with the decision, but found himself conflicted when he visited a soldier in the clinic and found that because of his rigorous adherence to grooming standards, his face mask was sealing wonderfully. Ford has advised his company that the protective mask order proves a fresh shave and haircut builds readiness.