WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a second mass shooting at Fort Hood, at least one lawmaker thinks a bill currently under consideration will ensure the safety of American communities by requiring the estimated 2.6 million unstable veterans who served in Iraq or Afghanistan to tell their neighbors of their combat service.

The Fortify & Unite Communities to Keep Veterans' External Threats Secure Act (H.R. 1874) which was introduced on Tuesday, would require military veterans to register with the Department of Homeland Security and periodically "check-in" with a case officer, in addition to going door-to-door in their neighborhood to notify people nearby that they are a powder keg of post traumatic stress, alcoholism, murder, and hate just waiting to blow.

"We really feel that we can drastically minimize the damage to some communities, especially those in troubled 'PTSD hotspots' that have become a haven for these psychopathic troops," said Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.), who sponsored the legislation. "We are so thankful for their service, and now they can continue to serve on veterans probation."