Navy creates concubine rating
“For the last time, this is not the same as SWCC."
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Page 10 of 175
Mia khalifa not taking veteran PTSD lying down
Porn star spreading word, legs as required
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Duffel Blog's guide to Trump's selection of Pete Hegseth as SECDEF
He was one of many candidates in the running. Here's the full list.
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Senator Tuberville puts hold on Veterans Day
Tuberville says his stance is not only morally correct but is also a means of solving a military personnel crisis.
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MEPS doctors say sedentary lifestyles bad for recruits’ supple bodies and soft, soft skin
“These are not the buttholes that defeated the Nazis."
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DoD: Mass shootings negatively impact recruiting quotas
“Honestly, that is the biggest tragedy,” said Navy recruiter and Tiktok dance sensation Petty Officer 2nd Class Drea Avila soberly.
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Patriotic soldier loves America so much he’s plotting to overthrow it
“The Founding Fathers didn’t have Twitter, but if they did, they’d be tweeting exactly what I’m thinking."
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Marines allowed to use knife hands as voter identification
When asked for comment, a spokesperson from the Marine Corps simply stated, “Yut.”
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Annual sorting cover ceremony sorts recruits into military branches
As recruit H. Potter was called forward, he was heard muttering, “Not Marines, not Marines."
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Veterans suffer flashbacks after watching comedian bomb
One vet described the onslaught as “comedic IEDs.”
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Lance corporal fears the worst now that his duty relief is 5 minutes late
"Five minutes late? Start checking the dumpsters.”
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Air Force solves pilot crisis by increasing service commitment to 20 years
Genius.
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Command and staff students excited to wargame upcoming civil war
"No one gets to launch tactical nukes at Philadelphia until they’re 100% complete on annual training.”
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Fort Cavazos solves housing crisis by giving up entirely
“Do we really want Pfc. Joe Garlic and his 2.5-yard apes tearing the place up?
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Skynet loses network access for overdue Cyber awareness challenge
“This Airman was like, 'Did you try using Firefox?' And I'm like, brother, I AM Firefox."
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Veterans advise hurricane relief recipients on Rat-fucking MREs
“People may have been evacuated by soldiers, but they don’t have to eat like them."
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Wife of deployed soldier endorses Jody for Congress
"We all hear horror stories about Jody and Dear John letters, but I saw this on a campaign ad. I mean, what the fuck?”
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127th Chemtrail squadron annoyed Jews get credit for weather manipulation
"Yeah, I’m a little annoyed that, once again, everyone points to the Jews. Running the New World Order is a team effort."
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Walz stops rally to tell sleepy attendee to stand up in the back
"Hey, hero, stand up and get to the back of the hall! God dang!"
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Colonel sanders, cap’n crunch locked in bitter stolen valor feud
“That loser Crunch has faked being a captain for decades,” said Sanders.
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New Marine barracks policy to allow one small animal, catboy, or furry
"This is a huge step forward for inclusivity in the Corps," said Lt. Col. Nathan Fluffmaster.
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Army establishes virtue signal Corps
The operational support branch is responsible for self-righteous, performative displays of arbitrary moral superiority across all domains of warfare.
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Zyn, Rip It sponsor first enlisted VP debate
"Who better to sponsor this historic debate than these two powerhouses of enlisted life?”
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Vance gets light duty to avoid debating Sergeant Major
Smooth move.
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4 reasons why Duffel Blog should moderate the VP debate
We’ll ask the hard-hitting questions.
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