THE PENTAGON – In a groundbreaking move to streamline inefficiency, the Department of Defense has announced the creation of the Task Force of Task Forces (TFTF), a specialized unit built entirely of task forces dedicated solely to establishing additional task forces.
“We realized that every issue, no matter how small, was being assigned its own task force,” said Brig. Gen. Douglas Bureaucracy, the officer tapped to lead the TFTF. “So, naturally, we formed a task force to determine whether we had too many task forces. Their conclusion? We needed another task force.”
The TFTF is expected to conduct a full-scale review of all existing task forces, including:
- Task Force Readiness, which studies why soldiers still can’t get issued cold-weather gear before winter.
- Task Force Innovation, which has spent three years deciding on a new PowerPoint template.
- Task Force Morale, which recently disbanded due to low morale.
- Task Force Tasking, which assigns extra duties to units that already have a task force.