WASHINGTON — Reinvigorating his defense of the unborn that stopped most forward progress in the Department of Defense for the better part of a year, Sen. Tommy Tuberville (R-AL) announced today he would place a hold on Veterans Day until the Pentagon eliminates an abortion policy allowing service members stationed in states stuck in 1957 the time and financial means to travel to states where abortion remains legal. Tuberville says his stance is not only morally correct but is also a means of solving a military personnel crisis.
“There are more than 600,000 abortions a year in America! Let these poor, innocent little lives be saved so that they can permanently meet our military manpower needs, and in less than 20 years, we can send them to die in defense of the greatest Christian country on earth!”
He added: “Dadgummit, how can we as a nation find the strength to rise up in the fourth quarter when we find ourselves two touchdowns behind if ever’ camo-wearing woman is out abortin’ babies? This is precisely why we don’t let girls play football!” Tuberville said to an approving audience of menopausal women and paunchy, balding men well past their sexual prime.
