KURSK, Russia — Following the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) deployment of an estimated 10,000 fresh troops to assist their Russian allies, North Korean soldiers assigned to the front lines of the Ukrainian battlefield have been amazed by the comfort of European combat. Defense officials say that while language issues have proven problematic, adjusting to the Russian infantry lifestyle hasn’t been.
“This is what a true Communist nation looks like!” said a North Korean lieutenant who wished to remain anonymous. “Plenty to eat, plenty to drink, and a chance to fire our poorly made ammunition at capitalist pigs instead of attempting to bombard them with balloons filled with our own shit! Long live the Revolution!”
One North Korean soldier was excited by the fact they had holes in the ground to sleep in. The private remarked that back home their political officers confiscated their shovels to sell on the black market and Russians had so many shovels they could afford to dig holes to shit in and even had toilet paper called Tass to wipe their asses with.
The ample supply of vodka also stunned the new soldiers. Discovering that Russians used what would be a village’s weeks’ worth of potatoes per bottle awed them with the vast wealth of their host.
