By Scheisskopf

WASHINGTON — Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Charles Q. Brown made a passionate call to regain air superiority on Mars to members of the Air Force Association this week after a NASA helicopter recently surpassed one mile of flight on the Red Planet.

“It seems clear that NASA has gained a first-mover advantage,” Brown said. “That’s fine because we have literally been waiting decades for the opportunity to shoot something down.”

“Like, anything,” he continued. “It’s kind of our thing.”

Adding that the service’s “number one job” was to gain and maintain air superiority, acting Air Force Secretary John P. Roth echoed Brown’s comments.

“Since April 15, 1953, we have prevented adversary air forces from killing American ground troops with their aircraft. That’s a record to be proud of. But we are in danger of falling behind extraterrestrially against this new threat,” warned Roth. “It seems strange that with all of the money we spend on (Intelligence, Surveillance, and Reconnaissance…