Applebee's to offer free meals only to WWI veterans
“Honoring the troops is core to our brand,” said Lauren Trent, Applebee’s Chief Marketing Officer.
GLENDALE, Calif. — After President Donald Trump recently announced he would rename Veterans Day to Victory Day for World War I, executives at Applebee’s expressed relief that they now only had to offer free meals to World War I veterans on November 11, 2025.
“Consistent with the directive from the Oval Office, we will now be offering one free meal to each veteran who can prove they served in World War I,” said Tim Gibbons, Applebee’s corporate counsel. “To qualify for the free meal, veterans must present a valid World War I military ID, or at least a photograph of themselves in sepia tone next to a trench."
“Honoring the troops is core to our brand,” said Lauren Trent, Applebee’s Chief Marketing Officer. “Especially when those troops are safely deceased and won’t mess up the bathrooms.” The restaurant chain also said it would place tiny plastic poppies on all cocktails, “just to show we remember, and also to make them look more festive.”
While many expressed confusion about why the administration was renaming the time-honored holiday, Applebee’s and other chains offering “Veterans Day discounts” expressed immediate support.
“Breaking the veteran holidays into individual wars will really help space out our losses through the fiscal year,” said Cracker Barrel’s regional manager Ted Weldon. “Plus, World War I vets are definitely quieter than our usual veterans; they don’t harass the staff, and the smell is only slightly worse.”
Veterans of more recent wars expressed concern that their service would no longer be honored by the new administration and local restaurants simply because they did not fight in a “winning war.”
“Look, man, just because the Taliban is running Afghanistan doesn’t mean I didn’t lose my hearing and my wife while I was deployed,” said Marine Sgt. Dan Rojas. “I deserve my free goddamn Grand Slamwich from Denny’s. Plus, we were winning when I left.”
At press time, it appeared the Trump administration would reverse its decision to rename the holiday after tremendous outcry from armed and hungry veterans. But many companies remained undeterred from celebrating the new holiday.
“When I heard there are no living veterans from World War I to take up our offer, but we could still get all the good press of supporting the troops, I knew this was a brilliant marketing move,” said Gibbons. “If the Trump administration wants to walk that back, fine, but our chefs went back to 1918 and asked, ‘What did soldiers crave after 14 hours in the Somme?’ And the answer, apparently, is bottomless mozzarella sticks.”
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Applebee’s Declares Bankruptcy After Offering Free Alcohol For Veterans Day
KANSAS CITY, MO — The president of Applebee's International, Inc. announced Tuesday that the family restaurant chain would be declaring Chapter 11 bankruptcy next week, after offering military service members and veterans free alcohol for Veterans Day.
‘What did soldiers crave after 14 hours in the Somme?’ And the answer, apparently, is bottomless mozzarella sticks.” It's true! My late great, great uncle (who did serve in WWI) said so!
When asked for comment, the Traitor in Chief stated, “Of course, I didn’t serve in WW1 because the USA had not yet been honored by my greatness, but my Uncle Freddie Drumpf was planning on serving, but he also got a deferment because of bone spurs. It must be something genetic…….I don’t know, but I got my tee time in 1 hour so I’m outta here.”