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'We don't want you anyway!' Army launches reverse psychology recruiting campaign

“Most teens these days are too fat, stupid, and substance-addled to even be suitable for service,” said Staff Sergeant Simona Oppf.

| 3 min read
'We don't want you anyway!' Army launches reverse psychology recruiting campaign

FORT MEADE, Md. — The U.S. Army is trying out a new tactic to beat its recruiting shortfalls: reverse psychology.

“I remember watching the pickup artist when I was a junior officer,” said Maj. Gen. Johnny Davis, commanding general of Army Recruiting Command. “That guy would basically trick women into sleeping with him by being mean and pretending to be uninterested, and that is essentially what we are trying to do here.”

The service’s new recruiting campaign aims to effectively trick young people into joining by saying just the opposite. But Davis emphasized that there is nothing inherently dishonest about this method of finding future soldiers. 

“It’s not like… sleeping with women through trickery but by tricking kids into joining the Army, wait… it sounds worse when you say it out loud but I promise it is a solid idea,” Davis said.

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