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'We don't want you anyway!' Army launches reverse psychology recruiting campaign
“Most teens these days are too fat, stupid, and substance-addled to even be suitable for service,” said Staff Sergeant Simona Oppf.
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Gray Sea Liu
2
JD Vance vows to represent fellow 'losers' and 'suckers' in White House
Former Cpl. promises to be a uniter, insufferable prick
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Thunder Chicken
8
Ukraine War funding reduced to single CFC donation code
CFC sources report that even as little as $5 a paycheck can make a big difference in giving Ukrainians the additional 150,000 troops they need.
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Blondes Over Baghdad
Pentagon announces plan to eliminate joy
"Destroying happiness within our military is a good financial decision."
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Ghost Of Jimmy Carter
3
Army debuts AI-powered NCOs to help with manpower crisis
“Now leave requests and sick call notifications can be declined without delay,” said General Randy George.
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The Dirty Lt
4
ROTC commander somehow manages not to fuck a cadet
“We are checking our data because obviously this is unprecedented,” said Maj. Gen. Antonio Munera, Commanding General of Cadet Command
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Cobra Commander
4
Biden reminds everyone that he has Presidential immunity
“Not that I had anything to do with those potshots at my Vice President Trump. I only killed Medicare.”
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Bad Lawyer
2
Coffee company owner begins new career as Special Forces soldier
The transition from barista to elite soldier has not been without its hiccups.
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Adrian DeRyder
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Gray Sea Liu
DoD bankrupt after Austin blows $300 billion at blackjack table
“Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never thought it would be a good idea to split 10s,” the Secretary remarked sternly.
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The Dirty Lt
2
Study says VA unable to provide veterans relief that drugs and alcohol can
"One veteran even mentioned that his local bartender has never once put him on hold."
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Clay Beyersdorfer
5
President who dropped Afghans from sky asks why you thought Gaza pier would go any better
“God save the Queen, man, but we tried our best to alleviate the suffering of those Carthaginians there in the Plaza Strip,” said Biden.
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Kay Too Ess Ohhhhh
6
17 Airmen dead after 'Bridgerton' marathon drinking game
“I too was shocked and saddened by the actions of Lady Featherington this season," a Colonel said.
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Ironic Major
1
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