WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump reassured worried citizens across the United States today, saying in a televised address that we have nothing to fear but a nuclear holocaust with North Korea.
’Twas libo, and the vaters moto Did vape and vorcot in the smits: All shitbird were the rawhide scruffs, And the Odo scribed in fits. "Beware the Hookenskank, my
THE PENTAGON — The Defense Department has unveiled its long-awaited strategy for turning the tide in Afghanistan this week, which calls for up to 460,000 additional US Army advisors to
JOINT BASE LEWIS-McCHORD, Wash. — The US Air Force is facing a whirlwind of criticism following reports on social media that up to 64 U.S. Army soldiers were forcibly removed
MCRD PARRIS ISLAND, S.C. — The Marine Corps Recruit Depot has once again found itself in hot water after officials allowed an ISIS fighter to pursue his dreams of learning
WASHINGTON — Following President Trump's abrupt dismissal of FBI Director James Comey, a relatively little-known French immigrant named Vladimierre Poutin has been appointed as his replacement, sources say. The
FORT BENNING, Ga. — President Donald Trump apparently doesn't like modern weaponry. In a new interview with reporters, Trump railed against what he referred to as “cartridge,” likely referring
THE PENTAGON — An entire Joint Planning Group (JPG) died from asphyxiation after a planner and a future operations officer sucked all the oxygen out of the room during a half-hour
The following is an op-ed written by the person who's made your life a living hell over the last four years. Hey, let's talk. I hear
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump is proposing a controversial plan that would cut the military's basic allowance for housing for troops married to unattractive spouses, Duffel Blog has learned.
FORT BENNING, Ga. — The first all-female infantry platoon in the United States military, despite breaking lots of sexist barriers, has also broken lots of rules, sources say. A spokesman for
Would you like to have some fun? Did you, did you clean your gun? Field day quick and then you may Have libo soon, but first obey! Do not smoke
And they showed up to stand and wait and the captain came out and stood and spit and said go on home but don't be fuckin' each
ANAHEIM, Calif. — A Marine combat veteran attending a Los Angeles Angels game is unsure of whether he should stand up and clap for this dipshit pogue soldier currently being honored
NEW LONDON, Conn. — A group of 65 Coast Guard Academy cadets enlisted this morning in lieu of accepting their commissions as officers, Duffel Blog has learned. The cadets stated that
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump promised to learn the identity of the unknown soldier during a speech on Memorial Day. Though the speech was intended to salute fallen military members, Trump
THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis is reportedly running out of things in his office to throw in anger after the latest crisis of the Trump administration’s own making,
HEAVEN — A Marine charged with standing post at Heaven's main gate says he can't wait until the Apocalypse destroys all of creation so he can finally
WHITE HOUSE – After 17 up and down seasons, and some of the most memorable moments in television history, Executive Producer-in-Chief Donald Trump is pulling the plug on the War in
FORT LEAVENWORTH, Kan. — Just hours after being released from prison, Army Pvt. Chelsea Manning was seen driving up to Whispers Gentlemen’s Club in Basehor, Kansas in a brand new
THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis is apparently in hot water after he realized this morning he forgot to send a card to his mother of all bombs, sources confirmed.
WASHINGTON — For at least the past three months, Navy Reserve Commander and current White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer has been desperately begging his chain of command to activate him
MALIBU, Calif. — Actor Tom Cruise has confirmed that "Top Gun 2" is happening, and he'll be taking on the role of a cargo plane pilot who
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — The US Army has declared victory in its longest-running operation with a stinging series of maneuvers against the grass, rocks and dirt that for years have
WASHINGTON — The next-door neighbors of Defense Secretary Jim Mattis have confirmed that he has kept them awake almost every single night since he moved in. Mattis has been leaving his
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